Okay, I spent a significant part of the day trying to add a hit counter to this blog. It was nuts! I think I did it but its invisible. To tell you the truth I'm not sure. I was going to tell you all about it but as I accidentally hit the backpage arrow everything was erased. Who cares, I'm sure it was boring anyway. Now, lets get to the fun stuff.
I got a few things on my mind that I need to discuss. First of all, what does it mean when you see a guy with a unicorn tatooed on their chest. I mean really. WTF! I got some tattoos but what is up with a unicorn. Is that some kind of illuminati secret code for "I got the Big horn!" I have no clue but I keep seeing this guy with a Unicorn on his chest and I am a little scared. Does Fred Jones have a unicorn on his chest?
Okay, fuggedaahboutit. Next, question. Is it possible to have a best friend of the opposite sex? One of my good buddies says it is impossible. I think it is possible. In fact, I have a best friend of the opposite sex. She is a beautiful, tall, long-legged beauty. Recently, because there were visitors staying at her place; she spent 9 nights in a row at my place. Yes, 9. And guess what, we never did it, not one single time. Thats a first for me. I don't know if it is because I am old or mature or if they both mean the same thing but, we excelled at catchin' some Zzzzzz's together. We still love each other to death and I actually have a female BFF. I'm tellin' you that's a first for me. I don't know if I would have ever been able to experience this without making it to 40 and staying single with no kids.
There are alot of benefits to having a female BFF. First of all you will always have that cool, coaxing, satiating feminine vibe around you. To tell the truth a female BFF is alot better on the eyes than a guy. I don't understand why gay guys should have the monopoly on female BFF's. If a guy can manage to have a female BFF a whole new world opens up. I don't even know where to start. You will always be able to get a womens perspective on females which is invaluable especially in times of crisis. You will always have a cool chick to hang out with. If your female BFF is hot its better. The challenge is bigger but its worth it. With a cute BFF you will always meet more beautiful women. Beautiful women see you strolling around with your BFF and they think, "Hey, what kind of magic does he got.". Also, having a female BFF prepares the way for having more female friends. Once you get the concept of not trying to sleep with every beautiful women you come into contact with then you will come into contact with more beautiful women.
There are, of course, challenges with having a female BFF. Obviously, there is going to be some attraction or you two wouldn't be hanging around each other. So, it is critical to keep in mind that you want to keep your BFF in your life for the long run. That makes it easier to avoid a serious relationship. Of course most people my age, 40, are married and there is no way they will ever have a female BFF ever. For them, at this point, it is verboten. I never thought I would have a female BFF but the experience has been valuable. It has opened up and expanded my paraidgm and perception of people as a whole. Basically, it has added a whole dimension to my personality. So, guys and girls, if you get a chance to have a BFF of the opposite sex give it a shot. You learn alot and no matter what happens its worth it. Investing time in the lives of people that give you positivity always pays off regardless of their gender.
Now, what else do I want to talk about? Well, there is the whole SPAM Hawaii thing. But, I don't think your ready for that. Suffice it to say, at one time the word spam was disgusting and odious to my refined senses but now it has become savory for many reasons. If you know what uhu with spam, sesame and mayo means then you know what I mean. It would take SPAM to bring my focus back to the Presidential election. The focal point being Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama.
I find it absolutely hilarious the vigor with which Senator Clinton is going after Barack Obama. Do you think I am wrong? Try to think of one single thing real or fictitious that Hillary hasn't used to attack Barack with. You can't because the much vaunted kitchen sink approach has already been acknowledged by the Clinton campaign with the (was it Truman) quote, "If you can't take the heat get out of the kitchen." On the other hand, let us consider Barack Obama. Has he used all the ammo he has on Hillary Clinton and for that matter Bill Clinton who has become Hillary's overzealous pitbull? I think not. I have heard no mention out of Senator Obama's mouth about the stains on Monica Lewinsky's dress or questions about how Senator Clinton could handle the US at three in the morning without being able to handle her husband in the afternoon. Nor have I heard any mention of Whitewater or the pardoning of Marc Rich. There are endless points upon which Senator Obama has relented. He has been playing the gentlemen and staying above the fray. Actually, he has been looking like what we would expect a US President to look like. We'll see after 8 years of Bush if it makes a difference. It is going to be an interesting finish. I promise you that.
Other than that; I would feel remiss if we didn't discuss cartoons to some degree. There is a Speed Racer movie that has either come out or is about to come out. I wonder if anybody remembers the cartoon. In the cartoon Speed Racer, if I remember correctly, had a pet monkey. Is that right? Did Speed Racer really have a monkey? The answer is yes. Speed Racer had a pet monkey named Chim Chim! For some reason this evokes thought of Michael Jackson and Bubbles. What the heck is white race car driver doing with a monkey/chimp named Chim Chim. The only thing stranger than that is Speed Racer himself. If you look closely at Speed Racer tell me what you see. Stop reading for a second and look at the picture. Do you notice something that he and Fred Jones have in common. Yes! It's that Gotdamn ascot. Its a conspiracy. Whats going on? Is Speed Racer gay, too. Or are Speed Racer and Fred Jones just mutual victims of bad taste in fashion. Because what guy, gay or straight, would ever wear an ascot besides Thurston T. Howell III. This ascot thing is starting to get to me and I am putting out an APB, All Points Bulletin, to my blahers. Report immediately, to this blog, any and all individuals spotted wearing an ascot. We are going to crack this nut one way or another!
Deep Thought For The Day;
Lay down on a flat surface and bite the bottom off of an ice cream cone. Try letting the entire cone drip down through the hole into your mouth. When your finished; what Zen philosphy would you use to mark your achievement?
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